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If your marriage is solid otherwise, maybe you can gently but firmly suggest that it is really important to you that he do so. Nothing you humans do makes a darn bit of sense to me.
Maybe a counselor or something could help out with it. You guys are not logical, not at all, not men, not women, totally illogical! If y'all could see the world through my eyes you would know you are crazy.
She will also get you guys on the direction towards better days. My dads mom was always telling him he wasn't as good as his brothers and sisters and comparing what he did to why he didn't do it like so and so. My husband has told me that he is so tired from interacting with people all day that he does not want to go out to socialize after work.
Sometimes it's good if someone other than you or his family brings these things to his attention. He can be polite to coworkers and customers on the phone, but isn't with his relatives. His father has issues too and has been fired from jobs for making insensitive remarks.
Here is my problem right now, he is so rude to people, I know this is his personality and I want to say here I'm not in the business of changing people. I have worked on myself for a while and I consider myself a decent citizen, I try to be the best mother, I work hard to be a great daughter, neighbor, volunteer and friend.There is "shy" people and there is people you just want to avoid with their attitudes, sometimes a look, or a small word can really hurt other people.He doesn't watch his mouth when he is going to make a comment that will hurt someone's feelings.Good luck If you love him and want to work on the marriage, I would suggest seeing a counselor. I'm sorry that it has taken you 8 years to realize that you don't enjoy your husband, but at this point the reality is that he isn't going to change, so you need to either find another way to tell him that his temperament is damaging to you, ignore it or leave. None of us kids carried on our fathers trait (except when we're talking to each other:) ).A third person is great because she can keep things calm while you're getting your feelings out. Just pray for him and set a good example, you never know what his parents were like for him to be this way.Then the motivation to change could be new opportunities instead of politeness.University of Alabama at Birmingham Model Spinal Cord Injury Care System, Spain Rehabilitation Center Phone: (205) 934-3283 The Model Spinal Cord Injury (SCI) System program, sponsored by the National Institute on Disability and Rehabilitation Research (NIDRR), Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services, U. Department of Education, supports innovative projects and research in the delivery, demonstration, and evaluation of medical, rehabilitation, vocational and other services to meet the needs of individuals with SCI.I guess I'm searching for wisdom words, maybe advice? I had no idea he was sick (his family did not EVER mention anything to me!At this point I'm not sure if there is anything for me to do. thank you ladies for all the comments, yes, he has always been there, but I never minded, but I worry more about it now because we have children and my daughter picks up on his behavior a lot and I don't want her to be rude. ), at first you think those are personality quirks, or even defects you come to accept because nobody is perfect after all.Doesn't seem to be hurting him any, he still has you and the kids, the behavior hasn't driven you away. More than likely your kids won't pick up on his behavior because of your good standards they will see his as wrong.You don't have control over him, the only control you have is whether you continue to be married to him and put up with it, or exit the marriage. you presumably were at least introduced to your husband before you married him so unless he's had some kind of massive personality change you knew this before you walked down the aisle. He sounds a lot like my dad and my mom is overly nice and polite to people also.